8 Things That Should Not Be Made From Paracord

Occasionally someone will suggest something I should make from paracord. I listen because it has worked out before (Flint Laces) but generally the ideas are a bit too ridiculous. Lately, I have been finding that paracord has a new practical function I never considered. Humor.

Paracord is highly versatile.  Here is the proof.

1.The mil-spec laptop handle.

Are you tired of carrying your laptop in a case that protects it? Now you can tote your most important electronic device indoors or out with a rugged no-nonsense handle made from America’s favorite utility cord. Each strand is tested to withstand weight up to 550 pounds which means it’s strong enough to support a Dell.

 

2. Cat-Woman mask.

Can you Imagine how jealous your friends will be when you show up to the Halloween party wearing your very own cobra braid Cat-Woman mask? Use this conversation piece to share your passion and knowledge of paracord with your bros who only use cord to make bracelets.

 

3. The seven strand fidget spinner.

Have you been searching for the fidget spinner that really defines you as an individual? Are you tired of all those sell-out spinners made from gold and yak bone? If you like to DIY then there’s no reason to spend $700 on a spinner that will make you feel unique. Say no to every cash register spinner display and craft your own from paracord!

 

4. The safety vest.

When is the last time you felt invisible to safety? Now you can expose yourself to danger with confidence. Everyone will be sure to notice you in this vest, except at night, or in the woods.

 

5.The totally USeBle bracelet.

It just works on so many levels.

 

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6. Tacti-cool sunglasses.

Are you looking for more places to wrap paracord? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have paracord sideburns? These adjust and slide down so you can stick your ears out and really complete the look.

 

7. Ultimate cord koozie.

Who really uses these to keep soda cold anyways? You don’t need a funny phrase for a funny koozie. Just craft your own, FROM PARACORD!

 

8. The Simpsons.

Okay, these I actually want.

 

-Ryan Smith

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